Nearly 7 years ago, the Lord gave a word to my husband and I that we would have a son. The gentleman who did not know us and who gave the prophetic word said “I see your son around 9 years of age playing with friends and trying to find creative ways to give to his friends just as he sees his parents doing. He has a heart for giving and a love for people. So tell me in 10 years when this comes to pass.” We knew that it would mean we would have to conceive soon but we weren’t sure if we were financially prepared and certainly were not trying. A few months later, we discovered we had a child on the way. Though we wanted to be surprised with the gender, we still believed this was the prophetic word being fulfilled and believed this was our promised son. Sure enough, our first son was born. A few years prior to his conception, though, we had discussed names and knew the Lord had given us a boy and girl name that would be in our lives in the future. So, when we found out our second child would be a boy, I was a little disappointed but very content with being a boy mom. I wasn’t even sure I would know what to do with a girl anyway! I knew I only wanted two children and was not cut out to be a mother of more children (I know God laughed at that!). I struggled with pregnancy and delivery, so I certainly did not want to go through either again. I was very much looking forward to being done as soon as Patrick was born. With that, we put the girl name to the side and thought maybe it would be for a niece or grandchild etc. But God was teaching even then, not to toss aside a promise or to become content with the circumstance given when the promise doesn’t seem to come to pass, but to still hold on and fight for the promise. That there is beauty and purpose and meaning in the “in between”.

Months later, at the moment Patrick was born and before he was even placed in my arms, I felt the Lord standing behind me as He placed His hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. Then He whispered in my ear, “You are not done, you will have another.” Truly, if He had not told me at that timing, I would probably have been mad and shut down to the thought of another one but I just knew that I knew our baby girl was still to come in that moment. I pondered and tucked that moment away in my spirit as Patrick was handed to me and we basked in the love of this new child in our family. And boy am I so glad the Lord saw fit to give us this second little boy!!! Oh what a complete joy and unknown hole he filled in our family!

A couple years ago, the Lord began to revisit me with the promise of this third child, specifically a daughter. There were many confirmations through Scripture, strangers, friends, and just His words to my spirit over and over. In November 2019, I had a vision that we would have a child and it seemed it would be the next year. A friend of mine happened to call me shortly after I had that vision and asked me suddenly and directly “Are you pregnant?!” for she too had a similar vision. I was not but I began asking the Lord if we could have a fall baby since I would love to spread out birthdays and have one in the fall (and the planner in me was plotting out all the parties on my plate between our kids and nieces and nephews!). So I was expecting to conceive somewhere between January-March. But every month was a negative and I felt a bit let down and confused by all the words given. It was also the time we began a move during the lockdown so I was grateful to deal with that move without a pregnancy this time around. However, during the summer more confirmations again began to come that this baby was coming soon. And in September, I had every sign that I was pregnant. So I began pleading with the Lord to wait! “I know it’s selfish reasons Lord but please hear my request and let us conceive in February or March!” My closest friend had told me that I would have some exciting news in September so I begged all the more for the Lord to wait. “Lord, I know you told me we would have a baby this year, I was meaning in my arms, not conceiving by fall of this year. I know you don’t misunderstand so I don’t know the purpose in all of this timing so I just beg you to wait until February or March.” Finally, I felt His hands on my shoulder again and a smile “Okay, your request is granted. But now you know that your prayers are important and they can change things.” Little did I know how much He would use that moment to challenge me during the most important historic election of our country and would teach me to pray in new ways. To know that my prayers were not futile and that He did indeed hear our prayers.

As February approached, I became nervous and anxious to know if God would “disappoint” or if He would truly answer our prayers and fulfill His promise because I had already been disappointed in all the promises over our nation not coming to pass yet. I knew He told me He heard our prayers and He would fulfill His promise, but, God when?? Just as He had given confirmations about this little girl, so He had given numerous confirmations to my husband and I over what He was doing in our nation. We were both walking and learning in new spiritual giftings so we felt overwhelmed and confused. Then one day in February while I was sitting with Him again, He told me “I answer. I do fulfill my promises. I am faithful. See what I do in your family as a testimony to my answers and promises over America. You will have the child promised. Now step out in faith before you even know and claim the victory, fight for it…this promise is yours! But, with this promise there will be a fight. You will have to fight for this promise.” So I began to pull our baby stuff back out and felt strongly impressed to pull out even my girl stuff I had tucked away from my childhood years. Within a couple weeks, we found out we were pregnant. God had answered!! But I still knew there would be more to fight for and wasn’t sure what that would look like.

Then, this past weekend began quite a fight. I had an extreme exhaustion I have never experienced. I was incredibly sluggish and struggling to do anything. Even walking from one room to another took everything out of me. I had an overall feeling of “ickiness” that I still don’t know how to describe other than it seemed my body was trying to rid me of the new life inside. And a new type of nausea that I hadn’t had. That night I began experiencing some sharp pangs intermittently. And then it began to last longer. The words of the Lord came back to me so audibly “You MUST fight for this promise!!” So I began to pray and fight and hold on to this promise of a daughter the Lord had given to us. And as I fought, the Lord again reminded me that the promise of the rebirth of America seems to be threatened and close to death…as if all our prayers and promises were being miscarried. But it is a false lie and tactic of the enemy to drive fear, disparagement, hopelessness, dissension in the body of Christ, and to cause the church to give up. And so I began to fight even harder for both this daughter of ours, America and the church. My dear friend, Alyssa, happened to call me at that moment unbeknownst to her of my struggle (we hadn’t been able to talk for over a week) and so she and I prayed in unity as well. The pain finally subsided and I began to feel strength returning. I was still weary the next day and nauseated but the intensity of it all had greatly diminished (I’m still taking it easy this week for sure!). But I knew that the Lord was using this story to encourage His church not to give up, not to cave into what seems a miscarriage of the prayers and promises over the nation and even in your family. Fight! Don’t let your guard down and let the enemy win! This is not over and the promise of God will be completed in the fullness of time.

I don’t know all the story holds ahead of the next several months for this baby and nation, but I had to share these parts perhaps to bolster your own faith. As Adam and I were looking back over the names of this daughter, I told him I wanted to reconsider one of the names because I wanted a name that meant “God answers”. But we just couldn’t find one that was right in our spirits. So we decided to go back and look up one of our original names (yes, all of our children have 2 middle names) and (isn’t God so good?!!!) that middle name not only meant noble, pleasant, and sweet, but it also meant light, light bearer, torch, God promised, and God answers! I saw this little girl holding a torch for God’s liberty in this nation, pushing back the darkness and declaring that what God has promised, He will answer!!

There may be another part to this story but we aren’t 100% sure of it yet! So we will continue to ask the Lord to reveal and confirm it all in His timing but I do look forward to sharing more as this story unfolds!